Month: June 2014
Bananas in Pyjamas: How do I Loathe Thee, Let Me Count the Ways
One of the very few downsides of having a four year old is that when ABC4Kids comes on late afternoon (usually a godsend), Bananas in Pyjamas come with it, and in our open plan kitchen/living room they are hard to avoid.
Here we have 2 co-dependant buffoons who can barely count to 10, meddling and messing up everywhere they go. They dress the same, speak the same, think the same. They do stupid shit all the time, and never learn from their mistakes. Their ever patient (and somewhat condescending) teddy bear friends are forever trying to figure out just what the hell they have got themselves into (“Ooh Bananas!” said in unison), and getting them out of it.
And then there’s Rat in the Hat. All at Cuddle Town remain steadfastly loyal to Rat, who is no more than a lying, thieving fraudster, out to rip off his loyal friends wherever he can. “Oh that Rat!” they laugh as they realise that yet again, they’ve been duped by this lowlife criminal.
So they set out to teach Rat a lesson (i.e. get revenge) and with two wrongs making a right, at the end they all have a good laugh and Rat invites them over for morning tea.
Then the very next day, Rat fucks them over with another dirty deed, stealing whatever he can get from these unquestioning morons. Or the BinP’s again stick their nose in to someone else’s business with not an ounce of comic intelligence, just infuriating adversity brought on by bad decisions (WHY would anyone hide JELLY under the cushions on the couch, or behind the books on the bookshelf FFS?).
The message to our kids? Be friends with everyone, even when they consistently lie to you and steal from you and trick you, it’s all just in good fun. Don’t bother to learn from your mistakes, always play the fool – it’s ok to have people laughing at your stupidity. Trust everyone, no matter what they do to you or how much they speak down to you. Oh, and forget individuality and independent thought – they’re overrated anyway.
ABC have just announced some rescheduling of the 5pm time slot on ABC4Kids. I for one am praying to the TV gods that the Bananas and their Pyjamas are once and for all put out to pasture – or better yet put in the hands of the Taronga Zoo monkeys to deal with.
Just change the channel, you say? Don’t be silly – then I’d have to actually play with my daughter!
Is Katy Perry a Caterpillar?
“Mummy”, Tippi said on the way to preschool this morning, “Is Katy Perry a caterpillar?”
“No, she’s a person who sings, why do you think she’s a caterpillar?”
“She just feels like a caterpillar, a purple one.”
“In what way, darling?”
“Well, she sounds like a caterpillar.”
Katy Perry…. caterpillar…. I can see where she’s coming from.
Housewife Product Review; iRobot Roomba 780
This, of course, is an unsponsored post, all my own words, merely inspired by me to pass on my opinion of this product, and to be useful in my posts now and then rather than just be all about me, me, me.
Hubby bought this little baby a few weeks ago. It was entirely his doing; he likes to be barefoot at home, hates the feel of sand and dirt on his feet and realised that hell would freeze over before I was going to start vacuuming every day, or even every week for that matter.
So he researched and shelled out around $800ish, which really is a lot for a tiny vacuum. So is it worth it?
It arrived during the week, meaning hubby was away for the great unveiling and maiden voyage. Not really having paid any attention to the whole research/purchase process, I didn’t really have a clue what it was supposed to do or how it works. I pulled it out of the box, put it down, pressed clean and it was away!
Simple, simple to run, tick that box. Although it has started speaking to me in German lately.
For a cleaning appliance, it rates high on the entertainment factor with almost compelling viewing, I could watch it for hours, just daring it to get stuck somewhere – like under a couch – and sometimes it looks like it might, but almost always this baby gets itself out and carries on. Both child and puppy are driven insane by it – child because she’s convinced it will gobble her up, puppy because…. who knows? Maybe it looks like her sister or something.
Does it clean? Yes. Yes it does. It really does. And comes with the added bonus that it forces me to keep the floor tidy, so we not only have a cleaner house, it’s a tidier one too. Although husband and my actual, (wonderful, delightful and ever patient) human cleaners might dispute that. After its run, it docks itself to recharge, you can set it on a timer or just hit Clean when you leave the house. It senses stairs and bumps or changes from carpet to tile/floorboards etc.
It does have one downside to be prepared for; it has to be emptied out after every use, and a thorough clean out at least once a week depending on how often you run it. Because it runs on rollers, hair gets caught around them and you have to pull it out. But really, it’s a whole lot easier than getting the big vacuum cleaner out of the cupboard, which I don’t really do, and it goes under the couches and beds, so those areas have been cleaned for the first time since we moved in.
Housewife love-o-meter rating: Four Stars.
I am very fond of our Roomba 780, even though I was totally disinterested in buying it, it has won my heart as much as a gadget can, and as soon as it starts speaking English to me once again it’ll be love.
(PS. Watch out for the 880 model which is now available in Australia and according to the website has solved the problem of the hair tangles which I guess might be worth the extra couple of hundred dollars… appliance heaven)
That’s My Girl, Doing Us Proud
I’ve always been a bit miffed that our only child is so her father. From the moment she popped out, her lips, her tall, slim body, everything is him. Put a baby pic of them both together, they are the same baby. There is nothing, NOTHING of me in her.
I hoped that maybe she’d be left handed like me. No. She’s not, no matter how hard I cane her hand as she practices her letters.
Then she walked me through this drawing she did at preschool:
“So that’s Maddie, and Evie, and Evie’s Mummy, and Evie’s Daddy with a MASSIVE PENIS! BAHAHAHAHAHAH!”
Oh dear, maybe there’s a bit of me in her after all….
Escaping, The Build and The Kid
Yesterday was overcast and rainy all day, then suddenly the sun popped out for a few minutes in the afternoon and threw out an amazing light, the whole place was literally luminous. In the country, there is always something interesting and beautiful happening in the sky.
I think it’s essential that primary parents or care givers get some time out now and then, it makes them a better parent. I had my turn on the weekend when I drove solo to Sydney to have lunch at China Doll at the Woolloomooloo finger wharf with 2 girlfriends. We’ve been lunching together three times a year for over 20 years. Our lives are quite different, so it’s pretty much the only time we spend together, yet we know each other’s lives in detail including all our secrets. This time, we hadn’t caught up for over a year, and I don’t think we drew breathe for the 5 hours we were together. It was also heaven to eat Chinese – we tend not to with a peanut allergy child – and China Doll is bloody yum and the people watching is second to none as well.
I like my wine too much to then drive 2 hours home, so invited myself to stay at another girlfriends house for the night. Three of us – school friends from the 80s – drank more wine, devoured a cheese platter and shared the familiar banter that 30-something year old friendships allow.
The slab is down – the first milestone reached. Apparently there’s a lull now while the steel gets fabricated, and we should have a frame in a few weeks.
Thinking about Mum a lot. She had her routine, post chemo blood test which showed an increase in cancer cells, dammit. Then a full body scan shows something sinister lurking in her spleen. She has no symptoms, so no treatment required just yet, but the doctors advised them to bring their trip to Europe forwards, as symptoms (and therefore more chemo) are probably only 2 months away. So next week they are off to England to see their 4 grandchildren, and my sister and BIL for 6 weeks, and all the time Mum has to try not to be thinking “shit, I’ve got cancer”, and not be terrified any time she gets a bit of indigestion.
Speaking of Chinese, am nervous about 2 firsts happening this week with Tippi our 4 year old child with severe allergy to peanuts, and what was once a severe allergy to egg that now seems to be diminishing.
A couple of weeks ago, Tippi’s preschool teacher called me aside to tell me they were looking at Chinese culture, and wanted to take the kids to the local Chinese restaurant for lunch. For most people with a peanut allergy, Chinese is unthinkable. I would never consider it, and when the teacher raised it my heart started racing, and tears sprung to my eyes as I thought of Tippi’s devastation at missing out. She just loves eating out, we do it quite regularly and to eat out with her friends would be a dream. In that moment, I decided I would have to take the day off work and keep her home so that she was not left at the preschool when all her friends were playing grown ups at the restaurant.
As it turns out, the owner of the restaurant has a peanut allergy child, so I was willing to listen, and long story short have decided she can go, and I will go too. Tippi is so excited. Me? I’m shitting myself. This is FAR from comfortable. But various things I wont bore you with have lead me to allow it – I will be there with 4 epipens in my handbag, and my stomach in my mouth. I’m cross with the preschool – at which Tippi has been since she was 1 – for putting us in this position, however I do acknowledge that they are incredibly careful with allergies, there’s not been once incident in over 3 years and they wouldn’t do it if they weren’t completely comfortable. The preschool director goes to this restaurant with her nut allergy son.
On the upside – maybe we’ve found a safe Chinese restaurant, not something I ever thought I’d find, certainly not in the Southern Highlands.
And then, next weekend Andy and I are both leaving Tippi with my mum and dad for 2 nights as we go to the Yarra Valley for a weekend of frivolity with old, old friends most of whom I’ve known since we were kids. This is the first time in her 4 years she’ll be waking up without either of us, she’ll deal with that, although will no doubt kick up a little fuss.
It’s the food thing that worries me – Mum is careful but has made mistakes in the past (that have been caught just in time, so no disasters) and is pretty terrified of the epipen. We’ll be doing a full training session on epipen use for the 1034th time, and after that it’s up to Mum. Outings will be the hardest part – they cant stay home for 3 days, and Mum isn’t used to ordering for Tippi when out. Pack her food, mum, I will be requesting.
Anyhoo, I’m determined to go, trust, and have a wonderful time with my husband and lifelong friends whom I see only every few years these days. Kids are left with their grandparents all the time, Tippi adores hers and at the ripe old age of 4, she’ll cope. Wont she???
So I tentatively step in to this week of fearful firsts and tell myself that it will all be fine, and it’s worth it. Don’t make a liar of me please Universe
How do you go leaving your kids? Have you been able to escape lately?